It's great fun. You get a diagnosis, then you get another doctor who decides you're not allowed a diagnosis, you just need a nice bit of counselling and that will sort you right out, then he chats with his mate and decides that you're still not allowed the diagnosis (screw you I have it in writing and I am not parting with that bit of paper for the world), but you can have medication for it.
He gives you the medication. Your brain starts to fizz and spark into life. You start achieving. Ok, you're achieving feeding the children every day and getting some washing done, but that is huge dammit. You patiently explain that you are getting so much done not because you are on amphetamines which give you excess energy <hollow laugh at me having "energy">, but because they are making your brain figured out how to do A -> B -> C -> D rather than that loop of HSIWQBJIGDBJIAMBFHEWJBF-> Z.
Then they decide you're doing well. The GP can take over.
Although the prescription they write before that decision is made is written wrong. "Why don't they have some sort of chart to tell them how they should be written?" asked Strawb today. Yes... the FIVE YEAR OLD GIRL assumed they would have some system in place too. So, back and forth a few times (yes, not just once), and the medication is obtained.
Refill time! You put in your prescription request online (with 5 days worth of supply, it takes 48 hours to process), and don't hear anything from your GP so you foolishly assume all is ok. You go in after 3 days to collect it (it's the summer holidays, finding a slot is hard), and they haven't got it. Or anything in the little tub for prescriptions. They hunt through the computer and find out that seemingly they cannot prescribe it (which I had suggested to the consultant before it started and he assured me all would be fine), so they chatted about it in a staff meeting, (poor things were obviously snowed under, which is why no-one called me to update me on there being a problem), faxed the consultant, (aah that will be it, they work via fax rather than phones and emails like the rest of the 21st century and I don't have a fax machine... that explains no contact), and did fck all in the way of contacting me so I could stroll in expecting to be able to get meds with 2 days to spare, but in fact, be told no and sent away.
So, obviously because I have met and spoken to my consultant, I am aware that he is on holiday for all of fcking August and will not be responding to any faxes. They would have known that had they actually phoned to speak to a real person. I am aware how crappy our systems are, so I was in no doubt that it will be ignored until he is back rather than dealt with by someone else.
I went down to the place in person (this was on the Friday... so I had a semi dose left as I was starting to ration them by that time), and got let in (they are really not keen on letting you in the door without an appointment). I spoke to a lovely lovely lady on reception, explained the drama, and she said she would track down another consultant and get it sorted for me, she would call me when he was in.
Due to the rationed meds and my memory still being kinda sucky just through being me, I didn't realise until after 5pm that no call came... So it was Friday night. No-one would be there all weekend.
I was officially out of pills. Monday, I got a call from a Dr fjjekfgjkehfkjwenklwmn (he spoke fast on a phone...) who said he was really sorry for the trouble, my prescription was waiting for me. Yes!!!! I twitched a bit, but I collected it and it seemed to be written accurately.
Got to pharmacy... I was wrong. They messed up a number. So I got to go back... he wasn't there, but I could leave it with them.
I got a call at 3pm to say it was rewritten and ready for me. But I have 3 children on school holidays, I was taking them out to enjoy themselves, I couldn't turn round and go back to sort my medication.
So, I got to pick it up this morning. It was correct, probably because I wrote down on the envelope exactly how to write it out... what with all my medical and pharmaceutical training. I got to my lovely pharmacist who agreed with me, and told me I could have a handful of pills now, and the rest tomorrow, or I could wait til tomorrow... I may have been a tad enthusiastic about not waiting.
So, I am back on my pills. Already I can feel my brain sparking to life, and some little dude inside my skull shrieking "It's alive!!!"
I've put away washing, I watched all of Jumanji with my babies without IMDBing what the kid was in. I cooked them a meal with vegetables. I kept the bad things I was thinking about stuff inside my head rather than say it in their presence.