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My brain is starting to spark again

I'm finally coming out of the fog and starting to see the world in colour again.

Today is the first day in weeks that I feel both not depressed and healthy.  It's an amazing thing.  But it also means that I am utterly frozen.

The depression has meant that I have hidden from all housework, so my lounge hasn't been touched in forever, I have a mountain of clothes to put away, the kitchen is a health hazard, and the conservatory floor is more thread than carpet.  I need to clean it all and I want it to be clean.

My brain is working though, so there is all this stuff I want to sort.  I want to order some Christmas presents, start Strawb's birthday present, plan out a gazillion things so life is smoother overall.

Sparks however mean that I have my creativity back.  I have a list of stuff that I need/want to sew.

It's all too much.  I can't prioritise.  Do I sort the house so I feel less of a failure?  Do I do the stuff so that life is smoother?  Do I sew because it is my happy place?

I've only just remembered to take my meds.  Maybe when they kick in I will know what to do first.

I'm turning round in circles, wanting to do everything, doing nothing, and just urgh.980x

I don't know how long I have.  I could be knocked round the head again tomorrow and be back under my duvet.  I want to do it all.  I can't do it all.  So instead I am sat here writing... I kinda hoped that as I put it down the decision would magically be clear to me, but it isn't.

I know normal people can do all of it.  They don't have to pick a topic and just  do that, but I know that I can't.  It isn't me.  If I try to get dishes ready to wash, and then do a bit of sewing, and then stop to hoover, then do some shopping, none of it will be done properly and that is actually worse.

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