First half term since starting uni.
This is hard. I am sat in the library attempting to study, but focus is hiding from me. It's October. I am normally buried under a pile of fabric making the Halloween costumes now, but I have broken the news that I just can't do it this year. Even if I am not working, my brain can't get round it.
This year is the first that I haven't made Strawb a dress for her birthday, and it is tearing me up.
B has just text telling me that she's on her way to a guides event that I had no clue even existed. Thankfully my mum is on top of that and has just done it for me.
But because of the way my stupid brain works, I am now struggling to focus on the work I need to do because of the guilt and urgh, so I am actually getting neither thing achieved!!
I had one day booked in to spend time with them, and that I spent in a depression blip, so yay, more guilt.
I know it will get easier. I know that this time next year I should have my shit together more and be able to do these things. But right now, I feel like I am failing everyone and it is drowning me. I even had to try to schedule in "being a friend" this week ffs.