Did you know there was an ADHD awareness month? Did I know? I accept I may well have done and forgotten... It was brought to my attention yesterday by adhdgrrl, and she had the frankly awesome suggestion of doing a post a day. I know me though. I know my people. I'm so not managing a whole blog post a day. I am attempting to do a Facebook post daily though with the highs and lows of life in the ADHD world. If I forget, you may want to remind me. It's strange. I don't really know what I thought before. I felt ADHD was a thing not just naughty kid syndrome, but I saw it as constant energy, never shutting up... Tigger on speed basically. Then we came across the information about women with ADHD and it all fell into place. How my brain works, how I feel, how I react... All of it was this. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I'm not a failure!!! I have a condition!!! But then comes the doubt. Is it real? Do I have it? Am I just grasping to something as an excuse for why I have wasted my life?? Getting an easy diagnosis helped so much. There was no pondering, he was pretty much "yep I agree". Not having to fight my case like I had for the girl child reassured me that it was real. Medication was the next "yeah, this is a thing" moment. Taking amphetamines and feeling calm and focussed is not the reaction of a "normal" brain. It's how someone with the brain makeup of ADHD reacts. There have been a lot of stages processing it. It has been like grief. There's anger at not knowing before, at realising the damage that has been done to my self esteem (by myself, not blaming others!!!), the feeling like I have lost so many opportunities. But the acceptance stage is amazing. This is it. This is me. (I fear I'm breaking into Camp Rock). I understand myself. I can learn to love myself with ADHD rather than in spite of it. I can help others. It's different. But so is being Aspie. Or dyslexic. Or a MtG player *ducks and runs*. We're all different. It's about embracing it.