I thought I had posted this before (it popped up on Facebook reminding me of it), but I can't seem to find it, so maybe it was just Facebook? Maybe Reddit? Who knows. Anyway... Medication and ADHD. So many people don't "get" the adult ADHD thing. Why do you need medication if you're not working or studying? How can you have it but not be hyperactive? Why didn't you have it as a child? (that last one is just it wasn't DIAGNOSED as a child). Anyway, I found perfect visualisation of me medicated vs me not. These notes were made playing the same game on different nights. These are what happens in my brain without pills, or with them.
The ADHD brain works differently. It isn't just an excuse for laziness etc. It's not just naughty children. The medication for it is amphetamines... Calm and orderly is achieved by a medication that is called "speed" when used on a normal brain for a reason. Look at the difference it makes to notes. Now see that as a brain. My normal brain is the first sheet, medicated is the second. One returns forms to schools, the other can't remember which child is at which school. Hormones are fun and come into play too. They tend to make my brain revert to the green notes regardless of whether or not I am on meds. I have an amazing support network at uni, I have my Bitches who will send me their notes on bad days, I have the awesome Lee who sends me notes. It's not a case of not being bothered to write them, it is just that some days they are not happening. Thankfully for some reason working me is the red notes, and always has been. I am so intrigued as to how I will be working and medicated, as it was the one area I was organised in originally! This is just the basics. This is just the organised side of things. It doesn't cover the emotions, the confidence, or anything else. If it can affect this so much, can you begin to understand how much it can stable my emotional dysregulation? Yes, emotions being all over the place, and stupidly extreme is a symptom of ADHD. Until the DSM-III it was part of the diagnostic criteria*. As with the focus being all or nothing, so are the emotions. What seems medium to you, is massive to me. I'm not just crying over silly things, I am crying over huge things, just that they are only huge for me. I struggle with it with Strawb, but that is another blog post. Where was I? Emotions. Again, look at the pictures. Change them into my emotions. The chaos of them untreated, and the way they can be organised and processed with medication. But medication is only necessary for studying isn't it? After uni I will be fine, and won't need it anymore. I will have learnt to deal with it all. I don't want to be reliant on them... Right?*Shaw, P., Stringaris, A., Nigg, J. and Leibenluft, E., 2014. Emotion Dysregulation in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. American Journal of Psychiatry, 171 (3), 276-293.