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Depression, distraction, and drag queens, oh my!
Wow, two months of me saying "I'll blog soon" and then having the black dog pull me by the ankles into dark water. I started CBT. The theory is sound. I "get" it more than I did ten years ago. But every day is a fight right now. How much is ADHD? How much is life? How much is grief? How much is biochemical imbalance causing depression? I feel like my handful of pills each day should have it under control, but it is still trying to beat me. I had hyperfocus for the first time in ages yesterday and it was magical feeling my brain actually work. I believed in myself again. Today I'm offered jobs and I sit with terror, sure that I cannot do them, but knowing that I have the skills. What's that all about?! Totally unrelated (anyone would think I have focus issues) - absolutely love being able to watch Drag Race as it is released on Netflix! Scarlett is a beautiful man (who was oddly evasive and I suspect is one of the first not 100% gay Queens on there), but wary about him as a person. Silky I actually may loathe more than Eureka. Vaaaaaanji is great, and I love that her personality got her back on. Ru upset me at the end of last season with her treatment of one of the girls though, so it is all a little sour. So uh.... Yeah... Depression, blogging, Drag Queens. Standard ADHD.

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