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Focused. Yep, all about the focus…

Imagine a world where I had a schedule for posting AND I STUCK TO IT!

Yeah, I found that funny too. I'm not too sure how ADHD bloggers manage it. I plan all these things, and then my brain goes "Nope. I don't want to write on a Tuesday. "

"Ok Brain. How about we write on any day and just schedule it?"

"Nope. Then it won't be the right day. Not gonna."

"Well, this blogger suggests..."

"NO! NO WRITE!"

Season 3 No GIF by NETFLIX - Find & Share on GIPHY

So then we are two months down the line and I've not posted again.

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Anyway, today it is all about Focused by Alyson Gerber. If you have me on Twitter, you will already have seen me gushing about this book.

It is about a 12 yr old girl who is having various issues, and gets diagnosed with ADHD. The thing is, the author wasn't diagnosed until she was in her 20s, which means she can look back and remember the frustration of not understanding what was going. Of trying to navigate a new understanding of her world.

It isn't just about Clea though. It is about her family and friends. Her parents have to learn why she can sometimes focus, sometimes hyperfocus, and sometimes manage nothing at all. Her friends have to learn about ADHD to understand her, and to help her to understand herself. They have to choose if they want to be friends with her, knowing that the parts of her that cause issues such as impulsivity, will never leave her.

I've been writing at the moment about how having ADHD is like having a map. Everyone is born with a map, can read where the roads go, plot out destinations and get there. We don't know how to read a map though, and very often no-one notices. We don't tell anyone about it, because we assume that it is natural, so we're just being lazy and not trying hard enough.

One day, someone notices, and helps to teach us to read a map. Some bits we need help with - maybe bigger print, or different coloured roads, but that moment of realising that we weren't stupid, we just weren't born knowing HOW to read the map, is huge.

Focused shows us Clea finding all about her map, and in places it is heartbreaking, but in others it is powerfully uplifting. My copy is tear stained, but in a good way, I think.

The part that resonated most closely to me was this:

"But it would be very helpful if she felt like you trusted that she's trying her best and if you assumed that she's already being hard on herself. She doesn't need help feeling bad."

Alyson Gerber - Focused

Oh, and also referring to a dress as an insta-outfit, and wearing it less through fashion choice, and more through removing another set of things to organise and choose.

I'm either in a dress, or a top with black leggings or jeans. I love incredibly styled outfits, but after almost 40 years I am slowly realising that my brain can't do that in the morning.

Anyway. It's Friday. I've written stuff. If my brain agrees then I shall be back Monday. In the meantime - snuggle Ursa.

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